I was reminded of this simple yet profound wisdom once again this past weekend, in a circle of beautiful sisters. I shared with them the struggle we’ve been having with our website, that has been ‘floating in the air’ on a temporary URL for more than 6 months. For some reason we could not bring ourselves to finish it and put it on line. ‘Why not?’ I asked myself. Especially when it turned out I just needed a couple of hours to make some adjustments. ‘Why didn’t I do that a few months ago?’ Asked my inner critic.
Taking a closer look at the situation – seeing it for the mirror it basically is – I came to the realization that it reflected my own inner struggle to become visible. Apparently I still had the unconscious believe hidden inside, that I am only allowed to become visible once I am ‘perfect’. And so, without the chance for change, everything stagnates.
At least, that’s what it looks like from the outside. But nothing arrives before it’s right time has come. One of the sisters illustrated it beautifully with the children’s picture book of Frog and Toad. When Toad admires the flowers in Frog’s garden, Frog gives him seeds to grow a garden of his own. Once Toad plants the seeds, he shouts at them to start growing. Even when Frog tells Toad to leave the seeds alone and let the sun and rain do their work to help the seeds grow, Toad tries every other way (reading a story, singing songs, reading poetry, and playing music), all of which fail.
How recognizable this “simple” children’s story! How often do I find my inner critic (my inner Toad) shouting at me that I should grow faster! Or that I should do this or that, in order to become ‘better’ (and thus: grow faster). Like many others, I am so often focused on getting things done right the first time that I forget that life is a process. And because I want things to be perfect right away, I forget to give myself room to grow. And does it help? No, it doesn’t.
Friday afternoon I simply felt it was time. I sat down and finished the website within a few hours. I realized it could be done better, and that there are still improvements to be made. But hey, who is perfect anyway? This is it for now, and to my own surprise I feel it’s good enough. Like a little sprout growing out of a seed, there’s still time to grow. What a relief! It means that I can allow myself to grow as well. Trusting that life is unfolding as it should and that we are growing exactly as we’re meant to.
So here’s our website, perfectly on time, and perfect for this moment. Thanks to our wonderful friends Joris and Berber.